The Wife isn't happy, but when it came on cable today I had to watch it again. This monster of a superhero movie is so bad it is good. Billy Zane is The Phantom, a jungle hero who battles in New York with guns and a mundane voice. I am amazed his villains don't just collapse into comas from his droning. It's like his secret weapon is targeted narcolepsy. Somehow he keeps a straight face playing this guy and that just makes this mess better. Throw in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (The original Kristy Swanson not the new one, Sarah Michelle Gellar) as the female interest and Catherine Zeta-Jones as a kinda villain, in their most unremarkable performances... ever and it is even better. They bounce off Zane's bland Phantom like silly putty on a newspaper. They reflect the blandness back. It is so bad it is great. Each line is mock-able, even the movie tag line, "SLAM EVIL!" just screams bad. I have to recommend this traffic collision of a movie if you want cheese with a side of potato salad and have an evening to put on your own home version of MST3K. Some movies are so bad they are good and this is one of them.
-Uncle Walter
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